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I'm dreaming about meeting Nicky in China, so must be starting to feel some unconscious anxiety over these next steps in my life. Noelle and I talk about it, a lot, so that she is somewhat prepared. As we shoveled the drive and scraped the car off on Friday, we talked about how, soon, Nicky would be out helping us with this type of task.

Noelle is beginning to notice differences between us and to not like them. We were reading “I Love You Like Crazy Cakes”, where a single Mom travels to China to adopt a little girl (a young friend of the family read the book while visiting once and looked up at me to ask … how did you get a book written about you and Noelle? ). On one page, the new Mom talks about her daughter's big, beautiful, brown eyes. I explained to Noelle that this was just like her, she had beautiful brown eyes, as well. Then she said, Momma brown eyes. And I said, no, I had blue eyes. Well, this was somewhat trauma inducing. Apparently we should have the same color eyes, either both blue or both brown — although, it is OK that the doggie has black eyes. We keep talking about it and how differences are OK … it'll be interesting to see where this goes and if it leads to bigger discussions. She knows she is from China, just like Peng and we've talked about birth parents, orphanages, foster parents, and adoption in the context of her life, but there is no reason for her to think this is unusual. While she is more clingy lately, and I'm not sure if its all the talk about Peng, her age, a power trip, realization in differences between us and what abandonment and adoption mean, I really don't think her focus is large enough for her to be associating the difference in eye colors to Peng and adoption and questioning her own status in my life. She's really smart, though, and intuitively good with people — maybe?

Peng's room is coming along. I was hoping to get a whole bunch done in there on Friday, because I took the day off and expected Noelle to go to school, only she ended up with a snow day and we spent the day together and I did not get to paint (we did have a very nice day together, though, and having Friday off to do Saturday things meant we could go and visit Great Grandma for a couple of hours on Saturday afternoon). The finishing touches in my newest sweetie's room are going to take me awhile, I can tell. Things like painting the window trim, putting another coat on the closet trim, remodeling the closet for my little guy so that he can reach a clothes bar and some shelves, putting some finishing touches on the bureau and nightstand, getting some accessories and lights in the room, painting the closet doors and his room door, buying a rug, putting up shades and curtains, etc. The walls are all painted, though, and the furniture we have is now almost entirely in his room. I think he might need a desk or a comfy chair or something, though. He currently has a chest of drawers, a bed with headboard, a nightstand, and a set of shelves attached to the wall.

I'm missing him and I don't even know him yet. How peculiar.

No word on TAs. The last batch from China for waiting children came out on 11/15th and provided TAs for folks logged in by 9/15th. My paperwork was probably logged in around 11/14th. The lack of movement on this next batch is driving me a bit batty.

This entry was posted on Monday, December 12th, 2005 at 6:14 pm and is filed under Family, Noelle, Nicky, Adoption. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.